I always wondered if the guy in that picture survived.
*cuddles up close to you* *puts my mouth by your ear* I NEED CONSTANT REASSURANCE THAT YOU STILL ENJOY ME AND FIND OUR RELATIONSHIP APPEALING
THIS IS ME
It’s not “bacon,” it’s a pig.
It’s not “veal,” it’s a calf.
It’s not “steak,” it’s a cow.
It’s not “meat,” it’s an animal…
its not “fruit”, its dividing cells that accumulate fructose…
it’s not delivery. it’s digiorno.
It’s not a scene, it’s a god damn arms race
It’s not “levioSA”, it’s “leviOsa”
Maybe it’s Maybelline
Male problems: When you wrap a towel around yourself, you don’t have breasts to keep it up
you can keep the towel up by thinking of breasts
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